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It may feel strange to sit back and deliberately choose how you want to have affection shared with you and to ask this of your partner.Talking about this might reveal things you didn’t know about each other and highlight opportunities to create consistent positive connections you’ll both enjoy.

The book’s not without it’s limitations (explored here by Charlie Glickman) but may be a useful starting point for opening up communication and closeness.

The five main ways people can give/receive affection are: Quality Time – where you give each other 'undivided attention’ to talk, listen, eat together or enjoy a shared activity.

With a young family you may have to grab small amounts of time together while you can, or you may prefer to schedule uninterrupted time when the kids are asleep.

Offer babysitting help to each other so you can get some time alone together?

If you have young children and also want to make more friends your library will have details of parent/pre-school activities, or you can meet people at your local Children’s Centre or NCT groups.

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